In December, I had the honor of giving birth to my first child. My son, Aiden Hugh Barron. This was probably the single most amazing moment of my life. On New Year's Eve, I went to my husband and I told him that this was the year that I give my everything to God. I prayed with my husband and I promised my husband and my God that my life would be God's. Not just for this year, but for the rest of my life.
It's August. This year so far has been probably the best and the worst at the same time. I didn't understand why. I have asked God the question "why" over and over and over again. In fact, I asked Him a while back, "Do you not understand that I wanted this to be a good year".
I haven't blogged. I didn't want to share my inner most thoughts or feelings because I was ashamed at the trials I was facing. I was also ashamed to be facing such hardships at the same time that I had the most precious gift I could ever receive in my life. I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me. Why else would God allow me to go through this trial?
Today. This day, I wanted to give up. I wanted to run. I was on Facebook, and I saw that someone posted a message entitled "The Power is in the Pressing". As soon as I read it, the Lord spoke to me and told me to listen to it. So I did. The speaker is Amie Dockery and she speaks of the process of the olive oil pressing and the grape pressing. She explained that the olive is pressed with a stone because the pressure of the stone on the olive brings forth a sweet taste. However, a grape is not pressed with a stone because the pressure of the stone on the seed inside the grape brings forth a bitter taste. Instead, a grape is pressed with the pressure of a skin. A foot in fact. When the foot steps on the grapes and feels the seed, the person knows that they are pressing "hard enough" meaning that they do not want to step harder because they only want to bring forth the sweetness of the grape.
She explains that the olives in the Bible represents our dreams, visions, our marriage, our children, etc. Yet, we are the grapes. She is quoted saying that "All I've ever wanted in my life really is to be at the feet of Jesus, and if that means that He pushes on me to express something precious, I can trust that pressure, I can trust that pain. It's not for my destruction, but for my gain".
Her message helped me understand the passage in the Word that says, "We are pressed but not crushed". I admit I sat in the floor of my bathroom and I cried and cried and cried while I listened to her message. I felt the Holy Spirit's presence fill the bathroom where I sat and I welcomed His kind and warm reassurance that I was only being pressed but not crushed.
I only wanted to share this because I want others to know that I am pressed but not crushed. For a minute there, Satan had me believing that God wanted to crush me. God really encouraged me today. I wanted to share the message here on my blog just so you could catch this concept as well AND for those who are close to me to remind me when I get discouraged that I am not crushed, but rather pressed because God wants to bring something sweet out of my life.
I didn't understand why God was allowing these circumstances to happen especially when I made the decision to give this year to God. Now I understand that I'm going through a pressing and that God has a purpose. So, from now on, I'm blogging again. I have so much good in my life to share. Aiden is 8 months old and growing like a weed. He's the most precious gift I could have ever received. I've started my Master's degree. I'm able to stay at home with my son. God is so good. And He is expressing things out of my life that are meant to be poured out and shared:)
If you have felt the same, are feeling the same...whatever. This is a good message.
The Power is in the Pressing
