Real Thoughts of a Blonde: Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul

Every morning, I try to wake up a little earlier than my sweet son so that I can spend a few moments in prayer and worship to my Father. A phone call from a friend on Tuesday morning changed the way I have spent my morning fellowship with the Lord. This was the phone call that told me that my dear and precious friend, Brittany Huber, had passed away the night before in a tragic car wreck that stole her life and left her fiancé injured and in the hospital just days before they were to be married. Since that phone call, I have found myself experiencing many questions for my father. I have gone through the feeling of shock and disbelief. I have felt very real the pain of loss, anger, and hurt that such a sweet soul would be taken from this Earth. In fact, it felt unfair that life could keep going when someone so special to me was no longer here. For over a year, I have been planning for her special day, May 3, 2014, when I, along with many...many others, would watch as she married the love of her life, John Redman. Today, May 1, 2014, I no longer have plans to watch my friend walk down the aisle in the wedding dress that she chose for her special day. Instead, I will be traveling four and a half hours as they lay her body to rest.

The past few days, I have found myself relating to King David in so many ways. Psalm 102 is actually David pouring out his heart and soul to the Father. In this chapter, David expresses his feelings of affliction and weariness. In fact, Psalm 102, verses 1 through 11 is basically a description of David pitching a fit with the Lord. Like David, I have spent these few days pitching my fit with the Father. What I find interesting about David is that he continues on with his fellowship to the Father and as he does, his words change from complaining to singing praises to the Father. David begins to remind Himself of who God is. Skip over to Psalm 103, David actually COMMANDS his soul to "Praise the Lord and forget not all his benefits" (NIV Translation). As I was praying and seeking God this morning, the song "10,000 Reasons" from Matt Redman came on. The song is taken from Psalm 103. Immediately, I felt the presence of God in my small bathroom and the Holy Spirit quickening me to command my soul to bless the Lord, even when I do not understand the trials in this life or the reason for Brittany's passing. Like David, even in my heartache, I had to demand my emotions to praise God in the midst of my confusion and pain and remind myself that the Lord is Sovereign.

I shared with a friend of mine this week that as I was praying and worshipping the Father, I had a realization that I was on this side of heaven worshipping the Father, but Brittany...she is now on the other side worshipping Him face to face. And for a moment, I longed to be with her and was jealous that she is now free from the troubles of this world now standing forever in the presence of a Holy God.

My heart is still breaking, I know along with many others. I do not understand this life and its hardships. I long for this all to be only a nightmare. In the midst of this storm, that so many others are also facing, I pray for Brittany's family, her fiancé John, and his family, and the people who were touched by their life and relationship. God is a sovereign God, and through Brittany's story, so many lives are being touched and changed. I am so thankful for the life of Brittany Huber and her story of strength, adversity, and pure joy. Knowing her is one of my 10,000 reasons to command my soul to "bless the Lord" even when my heart does not understand.