Questions Marks

If there is a punctuation symbol that I could show some sort of dislike towards it would be the question mark. I do not like them. I am an exclamation mark of excitement or thrill, or a period of finality kind of gal. But the question mark is not my friend. I like answers not questions. Which is why I find it ironic (please cue Alanis Morrisette's song in the background) that the word faith has somewhat been a theme in my life for the past few months. I wake up with the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" playing ever so sweetly in my head on countless occasions. Over Christmas break, my wonderful and insightful mother presented me with a book entitled "Faith Dare". Not to mention that every aspect of my life is demanding some practice of faith from me. That's the funny thing about question marks. They require some degree of faith from a person due to the lack of the unknown. I do not like the unknown. I am a planner. I am one of those nerds who carries around a calendar at all times and my life is laid out between the two pages of plans and dates that make up the month ahead. I specifically buy the calendar that has the month displayed instead of the weeks because I want to see my plans in its entirety. That's the kind of nerd that I am but I love it. So as you can imagine, when a question mark is stamped before me I tend to panic. Last week, God led me to a verse that I memorized back in my teenage years. This time, however, I read it in the Message version and the raw truth of its translation hit me like a blow to the stomach. "The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see". (Hebrews 11:1 MSG). The last portion of this verse is what gets me. "It's our handle on what we can't see". So that's it. That's why I do not like question marks. I can't see what plans are behind it and my faith is not being practiced enough to find peace in that uncertainty. This lack of faith brings in a great deal of fear instead of peace. In my heart I can hear God speak to me "Faint-heart, what got into you?" (Matthew 14:2, 31 MSG) just as he did to Peter as he doubted his faith when attempting to walk on water.

Whenever I see a question mark in my future or my present situation, I panic. Much like Peter. I get that tight gripping feeling in my chest and my mind races with more questions. But I hear God speaking to me to have faith. It is oh so stinkin hard but I want faith more than fear. Have you ever seen a child who was sick yet still held a sense of innocence in their eyes as if no one had clued them in on their ailment? They have an innocent like peace. That's what faith brings. Peace in the uncertainty. And if there is anyway I can veto the question marks in my life-the haunting punctuation mark-and choose peace instead, then that is exactly what I want to do. Maybe you handle question marks differently. Some like the unknown. They see it as an adventure. Maybe someday I will feel the spontaneity in the questions marks of my life. But today, my baby step is to choose peace instead of fear so that my heart can truly proclaim "Great is Thy Faithfulndss"!!!! <-notice my fun exclamation marks;)