Changes

I find it very interesting that Mother's day was the last blog I wrote. Coincidently, Mother's day of 2013 has and will forever be a new chapter in my life. That was the day that everything changed. Without too many intimate and undisclosed details, between Mother's Day 2013 and today, I am now separated from my husband of six years. With that being said...we are all well. Aiden is 20 months old, is starting to put words together. He is happy and healthy and I couldn't ask for a more beautiful, full of life son. Brett is well. He and Aiden decided to take a trip to the Tennessee Aquarium. They were so kind and invited me to go as well. We had a wonderful time. I gave Brett and Aiden their time and I was more like the photographer. It was so nice watching the two of them together. Aiden is now able to acknowledge what is right in front of him, so he was amazed at all the fish swimming around in the huge aquariums. Brett taught Aiden how to say "Bye fishes". It comes out sounding more like "Bye pishes". The aquarium had this really neat butterfly garden and Brett was able to hold a butterfly on his finger so Aiden could see it up close. Those two can find adventure in anything, but being able to hold and see a butterfly up close was pretty exciting if I do say so myself. 

While traveling this road towards divorce, I have learned a lot about myself. I am in some ways much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I am also much weaker in areas that I never thought I could be. Divorce is never fun. I am not sure that I have ever heard someone say "I loved going through my divorce. It was the best time of my life". I may not have had the best marriage, but I look back on the life that I shared with Brett, and I am thankful for the journey. I would not have experienced so many of the adventures that I did experience if I had not married Brett. Brett taught me that I can pursue anything. Especially in school. He always encouraged me to get my bachelor's degree and to not stop my education until I was satisfied. Brett taught me that I can be strong. He has often said that he knew I was much stronger than I even thought. That means a lot to me. I just started a new job recently. Aiden is currently with a babysitter, but we are hoping to get him in a daycare center soon. The one that I am looking at is close to my job which is conveinent for many reasons. Next month, I will be moving in with a great friend that I had the privelege of meeting last year. Her name is Crystal. If you remember in a few of my blogs back, I babysat her son, Rownin, for a few months. I am thankful for the provision God has made for Aiden and I. We are in a good place in life. I have great friends and family. I truly adore my new coworkers. I have met new people who enlighten and enrich my life. God is good. He is also very faithful, even....EVEN when I am not. Next month, my church is starting their new semester of small groups. I am really looking forward to joining one and getting plugged in somewhere. I don't want to walk through this particular season of my life broke and beaten down. Instead, I would rather choose to embrace it. I try to find certain things to focus my attention, time, and energy on. Work. When I am there, I focus on work. Home...cook dinner, feed Aiden, bath time, read a book, rock Aiden and enjoy the moment. Aiden is asleep...school work. That is basically my train of thought lately. In between, I find time to clean, put things away (Brett usually kept the house in order...I am a work in progress), call a few close friends, and catch up a few shows. 

  So...I have not wanted to neglect my blog. But, I wasn't too sure how I would write about this particualr season I am in right now. It's tricky because I am an open book. And ususally, by blogs reflect the season of life that I am in during that moment of writing. I have thought about writing, but the time never seemed right. I feel that I am in a better place now where I am finding the ground beneath my feet. I don't feel like I want to crawl in a hole and hide. I feel good. I am happy and content with life right now. I know who holds my future, and that truly is comforting. For those of you who do choose to read this particular blog and you know Brett and I personally but didn't know of our situation...I ask you this: Please just be respectful. If we haven't spoken to you in person about it, it is most likely because we do not wish to talk about it at the time. What you can do is pray for us. Pray that God will restore our hearts and help us find His purpose and meaning for our lives as individuals as well as parents to our precious gift of a son. God has always had a plan and a purpose for us. He (God) has not changed. We will both find His purpose. I am confident in that. And to anyone else who has gone through a divorce, is going through a divorce, fears that divorce is ahead...I am praying for and with you. We serve a MIGHTY father.