Looking Back

Many people are afraid to say or write how they feel.  Maybe it is a fear of rejection.  It could be a lack of being able to put what they feel into words.  I'm not sure what it is.  For me, I am most fearful of not saying how I feel or perhaps missing the chance to express my feelings to those that I cherish the most.  

In reflection, the year of 2010 has been a year of change in every area of my life.  For the first time in my life, I have experienced emotions of regret, uncertainty, doubt, and fear all at once.  I could feel every emotion in more than one area of life.  I could feel it spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  I could feel it in decisions I had made in the present, as well as decisions I made in the past.  I do not recall a time in my life that I have ever felt regret so much that it haunted me the way it has this year.  I have always been the person that could shake it off and move on.  I am not sure why I have been so in tune with these emotions of doubt and regret.  Perhaps it stems from change.  Change is one thing in life that is inevitable.  You can not resist change, nor can you prevent it.  Change is a natural part of life.  Change is not always a bad thing, however, it is the change that forces one to stop and reflect and at times access where they are at in life.  A friend of mine in high school once showed me a quote that I have often looked back at and used as inspiration.  Her quote states "If there wasn't any change, there wouldn't be any butterflies".  What a beautiful way to look at change.  I guess for me, as change took place, I began to reflect.  As I look back on my life, there are several things that I would have done differently.  They say hindsight is always 20/20.  How true is that?  If only I knew then what I know now...how different would my choices have been?  None of these choices have to do with life or death situations, rather direction in life.  Looking back now, I realize that many of my choices were made out of influence rather than personal belief.  It saddens me to know that I let other people's influence have an impact on decisions that I would have to live with. 

Due to the fact that I have never dealt with guilt or regret, I decided to research regret.  I'm not sure that this is the normal thing to do when dealing with regret, but because I am a Psychology major, I was interested in the psychology of it all.  To put it to you plainly, regret gets you nowhere.  A person who suffers from regret is often moody, emotional, and fantasizes on what "could have" been.  I don't want to be this person, so as a result, I have decided that I will no longer dwell on the "what if's" in life.  Life is what it is.  I am grateful for each breath I've been given, and I don't want to waste my present days living in the past.  So, as a life goal, not to be confused with a New Year's Resolution, I want to live a life the makes the most out of each moment.  If I love you, I want you to know right then and there that I love you.  I will tell you, I will express it, and I will live it out.  If I am passionate about something, I will devote my full heart into it.  If it is in the past, that is where I will leave it. 

Thankfully, I have great friends, family, and the most wonderful husband who has put up with me and my horrible roller coaster of emotions throughout the past year.  I am blessed beyond measure.  As for me and my life, I want to live a life that is unabandoned.  Unabandoned spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  1 Corinthians 9:24 says "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize".  This might be theme verse for the year 2011.  And this is all I have to write.  I encourage you in you are reading this to live a carpe diem life.  Seize each moment and live it to the fullest.  Run the race in such a way that you come out as the winner!!  From now on, that's what I'm gonna be doing:)

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. - Groucho Marx

There's Just Something About THAT Name

Well, I didn't start this blog to show the world how spiritual I am.  In fact, at this point in my life, that is the last thing I want to do at the moment.  I have many people in my life who like to flaunt their spirituality, and it disgust me.  Rather, I started this blog just because I thought it was an interesting way to share with others what was going on in my life.  The good things, the hard situations, the BIG moments, and even the small.  The other day, I was driving to work.  The drive to work was normal.  Nothing unusual happened.  But for some reason, I was at a stop light, and as I sat there waiting for the light to change, I looked up to the sky and I suddenly remembered a moment I had with my father when I was a kid. This memory came out of nowhere, but as soon as it came, it brought chills down my body.  This memory was of my daddy taking me to school early one day.  We were in his truck and he was holding his coffee cup as he drove.  It was early in the morning, so I wasn't close to being able to hold a casual conversation.  However, I kept hearing my dad softly whispering something.  This got my attention, and I began to notice that my dad was praying.  Or, I guess you could say praying.  He was just saying the name "Jesus" over and over again.  Just saying the name, softly.  But in his words I could hear so much more.  In his words I could hear adoration, a plea, a cry, a longing.  At the time, I had no idea why my dad would just say Jesus' name over and over.  It didn't make sense, but yet, I could still hear everything in that one name.  This happened on many occasions that I rode with my dad to work or school.  He would have his coffee in one hand, the other hand on the steering wheel, and he would silently whisper the name of Jesus.  You just have to know the relationship between me and my daddy.  I adore everything about my daddy.  My dad does not boast in his speech, but he silently lives a life that I look up to.  As years have passed, I have often heard songs, poems, and sermons about the name of Jesus.  Each speaking of the power that is in His name.  I'm not sure if this is for anybody, or if maybe I am simply sharing a memory...but I can honestly say that this memory of my daddy whispering the name of Jesus has been an example to me.  I am at a point in my life where I feel that there has been much confusion and questions that have surrounded me and my husband.  But when it comes to the end of the day, and I am overwhelmed with heartache, or questions, or even happiness and joy...when I just say the name of Jesus...all the answers I need in life are right there:)  So here's to my daddy!!! Thank you for being a living example of Christ!!!

the life of a biker chick!!!

When I worked at the bank, I had the pleasure of meeting and befriending several of the employees at Harley Davidson here in Mobile.  I shared with them my husbands obsessive passion to one day own a bike, and in return, they have befriended my husband and helped fuel the already burning fire.  For Brett's birthday, one of the girls at the store gave me a gift certificate that allowed Brett a free weekend rental of his choice.  Now, I spent actual MONEY on his birthday gifts, but this free certificate topped it all off!!  He immediately made plans to have my Aunt Pooh (who owns a harley) and her friend Elaine (who owns a yamahahaha) to come up one weekend in September and ride their harley's together.  I must admit to you that I was quietly reserved and nervous, but I knew that my husband was thrilled, so I kept my thoughts to myself like a polite young lady would.  The months of July and August flew quickly by, and September finally came along with the weekend of the awaited bike ride.  My stomach stayed in knots and I was silently sending prayers up to God that my husband would be safe.  Saturday, Brett, Pooh, and Elaine rode their bikes all day until time for the Auburn game.  They drove their bikes to Dauphin Island, caught a fairy, rode the fairy to Gulf Shores, and rode back to Mobile.  The whole time they were gone, I was waiting for my phone to ring so I could hear my husbands voice and know that he was still alive.  Thankfully, they returned home safely and I was able to watch the Auburn game with a peace of mind.  The next day, my husband informed me that he would be driving me to church on his rented harley....  I wanted to do it because I knew he wanted me to do it, but I was sick to my stomach nervous!!!  When we left the house for church on this bike, all I could think was "What would me parents think if they knew"...lol!!!  When I walked into church with a biker's helmet, I felt like a true biker chick.  I left church after worship so we could ride with Pooh and Elaine before they left.  Ok people, I must admit....I LOVED every minute of it.  There is nothing like the feeling of being on the back of a bike with the person you love, and just driving in the open air.  I felt like a new woman!!!  The day was full of memories...it rained on us as we were making our way home, and we had to stop and find refuge.  We ended up stopping somewhere close to Daphne and hiding under a house that was not completely built yet.  All I could do was laugh.  Heck, if were gonna be bikers, we might as well do it all the way and ride in the rain!!! 

I was sad to see the weekend go, but thankfully the next weekend was bike week in Panama City and we were able to meet my Aunt Pooh, Elaine, and their friends there.  Again, this only made Brett's need for a bike even worse.  We had such a great time and met some wonderful people within these two days.  I say all this to say...I believe that one day, I will officially become a biker chick for REAL!!!  I am finally on board with Brett, and I hope that the future holds a nice Harley for my husband accompanied with a NICE...COMFORTABLE back seat for me and my toosh!!! 

Brett getting ready to leave the Harley Davidson Dealership

He's so excited he can barely stand it!!

And they're off!!!

Getting ready to leave for church!! Lord keep me safe!!

What am I doing?!?!

Hey mom, hey dad!!

In Panama for bike week

Brett revved his bike up just for this picture...

This is my Biker husband!!

Hope you guys enjoy the pictures!!! 

The little things

Well friends, it seems that a lot has gone on since the time I last wrote.  I have recently made career changes in the past two weeks.  School is ever consuming my free time.  Brett is still working non-stop.  We have so many things in our lives that demand our attention and time, and it's hard to find a balance in it all.  I get scared that these crazy times are gonna overtake the important things in life, such as love for our friends and family, or gratitude for what we have.  Thankfully, I have a husband who never lets me forget! 

The other day, Brett came home completely tired and worn out.  I didn't want to bother him, but I was CRAVING krispy kreme donuts!! I slyly mentioned my intentions of wanting to go, and he happily took a quick shower, got dressed, and took me to krispy kreme at 10:00.  Now that's a great husband!!

What horrible picture...but I had to put it up!!  Brett was pouting because I got a creme filled cinnamon donut, and he wanted it!!  He was being a baby, and wouldn't get the same thing I got, so instead...he just pouted!!  Typical male!!
I said all this to point out, that this night meant a lot to me.  It wasn't anything special, but I was so grateful that we took time to get out of the house, even if it were just a ride down the road, and enjoy our time with each other. 



About two weeks ago, we went over to Mama Sue's house (Brett's mom) to eat dinner.  I was inside watching tv, and when I came back outside to see what Brett and his brother Jeff were up to, this is what I found:

Brett and Jeff on the roof of the shed

Getting ready to shoot the arrow

This is their target setup!!

Brett is so ready for hunting season, he can't stand it!!  I nearly died laughing when I saw this!!  This is one of the many reasons why I love my husband.  He surely keeps life interesting!  The other night, I had a bad dream about Brett, and when I woke up and told him about my dream, his response was "Baby, you can't have a nightmare about me, I'm a dream come true"!!  Seriously, where does he come up with this stuff! All I know is that I am so blessed.  Blessed and happy!  God is so faithful to us:)  I'm looking forward to what the future holds for me and my family!!  Promise, I will keep you posted!!

XOXO

erica barron

La Dolce Vita

So...today I decided to start a blog.  I've contemplated writing one for a while, but I never did in fear of the commitment it might require. However, I was reading a friends blog and saw how cute and sweet it was that they shared their life moments with others through random blog updates, and instantly, I was convinced!! So here goes nothing...

Tonight, I came home to a husband who was grilling out some yummy jalepeno and cheese stuffed hot dogs, and two dogs that were overly excited about seeing their mommy!!  I was frustrated at the thought of all the laundry that awaited my presence until I walked into the kitchen and saw that my husband had not only did the laundry, but he folded them too!!  This, my friends, is a MIRACLE!!  It was nice to be able to come home and just sit and eat.  I almost didn't know what to do with myself.  However, as a balancing statement, I must admit that my husband cooks ALOT, as well as cleans.  I can't really complain.  The only thing he doesn't really do is FOLD the laundry...which was why I was so shocked:)  

I am really a blessed woman.  Tonight, I was able to sit with my legit family that consist of Brett (my husband), Leila(our yorkie) and Shammah(our boxer).  I am not one to take them for granted, and at times, I am overly emotional and grateful for the life that God has given me.  Hopefully, in this journey of blogging, I will be able to more appropriately capture those treasured moments and share them with friends and family.  My life is simple, but it is sweet and beautiful.  I have a wonderful hubby who makes me laugh, two amazingly annoying at times dogs that warm my heart, and a home that holds us all together:)  Yep!  I'm a happy woman!

The familia!!

Well, that's pretty much it for tonight!!  Hope ya'll enjoy:)