Today, I ran across a blog entitled "Today's Letter". This lady writes a short letter to things/people throughout her day, but she always begins and ends with writing a little something to her husband. I love this idea. Her husband even does the same thing. I must have spent 20 minutes reading their letters. I think I remember a friend who started to do the same thing, but instead of a daily letter, she only wrote letters on Friday. I agree that making this an everyday thing might just get a little overwhelming for me, especially with an eleven month baby boy wreaking havoc on our home. So, I think that I too will do a Friday letter.
So...without further ado.
Dear Mr. Barron. Thank you for paying attention to the little details. I was craving sweets and junk food. Of course the only food in our home is healthy and I wanted no part in it. You came home Tuesday night with a bag of candy corn, pepsi, buffalo wing pretzels, and ice cream. All of which are my favorite. Even though you said the ice cream wasn't for me and that I couldn't touch it, I noticed you bought my favorite (cookie dough) and you then pretended you were mad when you noticed I ate some. I still appreciate it more than you know. Dear Little Man, you are growing way too fast. You entertain yourself throughout the day by terrorizing Shammah and throw balls throughout the house while crawling after them. This morning, you would crawl and spin, crawl and spin, crawl and spin. You laughed the entire time. What is going on in that head of yours? You are saying actual words now like "Hey", "Aiden", "Bye Bye", and "Dada". I am very proud of your accomplishments. However, can we try to attempt saying "mama". You don't even seem interested. I guess I should appreciate it because there will come a time that I wish you would quit calling my name. Dear Brother Sam. You just had a birthday. I can't believe how cool you are. You love all the cool rock bands I love, you like to have movie marathons with me, and you can sport a Grease hairstyle like no other. I am one proud sister. Dear man who stole my cell phone. I hope that it has been a great asset to you. For me, however, it has been a thorn in my side. I will pray for you. Dear Brett Joseph, I would post pictures of the sweet things you bought, but my phone was stolen. I guess I have to start using my camera again. Thank you for working so hard to provide for our family and allowing me the opportunity to stay at home with our son. I am very grateful. I love you more than junk food.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
Pressed but not Crushed
In December, I had the honor of giving birth to my first child. My son, Aiden Hugh Barron. This was probably the single most amazing moment of my life. On New Year's Eve, I went to my husband and I told him that this was the year that I give my everything to God. I prayed with my husband and I promised my husband and my God that my life would be God's. Not just for this year, but for the rest of my life.
It's August. This year so far has been probably the best and the worst at the same time. I didn't understand why. I have asked God the question "why" over and over and over again. In fact, I asked Him a while back, "Do you not understand that I wanted this to be a good year".
I haven't blogged. I didn't want to share my inner most thoughts or feelings because I was ashamed at the trials I was facing. I was also ashamed to be facing such hardships at the same time that I had the most precious gift I could ever receive in my life. I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me. Why else would God allow me to go through this trial?
Today. This day, I wanted to give up. I wanted to run. I was on Facebook, and I saw that someone posted a message entitled "The Power is in the Pressing". As soon as I read it, the Lord spoke to me and told me to listen to it. So I did. The speaker is Amie Dockery and she speaks of the process of the olive oil pressing and the grape pressing. She explained that the olive is pressed with a stone because the pressure of the stone on the olive brings forth a sweet taste. However, a grape is not pressed with a stone because the pressure of the stone on the seed inside the grape brings forth a bitter taste. Instead, a grape is pressed with the pressure of a skin. A foot in fact. When the foot steps on the grapes and feels the seed, the person knows that they are pressing "hard enough" meaning that they do not want to step harder because they only want to bring forth the sweetness of the grape.
She explains that the olives in the Bible represents our dreams, visions, our marriage, our children, etc. Yet, we are the grapes. She is quoted saying that "All I've ever wanted in my life really is to be at the feet of Jesus, and if that means that He pushes on me to express something precious, I can trust that pressure, I can trust that pain. It's not for my destruction, but for my gain".
Her message helped me understand the passage in the Word that says, "We are pressed but not crushed". I admit I sat in the floor of my bathroom and I cried and cried and cried while I listened to her message. I felt the Holy Spirit's presence fill the bathroom where I sat and I welcomed His kind and warm reassurance that I was only being pressed but not crushed.
I only wanted to share this because I want others to know that I am pressed but not crushed. For a minute there, Satan had me believing that God wanted to crush me. God really encouraged me today. I wanted to share the message here on my blog just so you could catch this concept as well AND for those who are close to me to remind me when I get discouraged that I am not crushed, but rather pressed because God wants to bring something sweet out of my life.
I didn't understand why God was allowing these circumstances to happen especially when I made the decision to give this year to God. Now I understand that I'm going through a pressing and that God has a purpose. So, from now on, I'm blogging again. I have so much good in my life to share. Aiden is 8 months old and growing like a weed. He's the most precious gift I could have ever received. I've started my Master's degree. I'm able to stay at home with my son. God is so good. And He is expressing things out of my life that are meant to be poured out and shared:)
If you have felt the same, are feeling the same...whatever. This is a good message.
The Power is in the Pressing
It's August. This year so far has been probably the best and the worst at the same time. I didn't understand why. I have asked God the question "why" over and over and over again. In fact, I asked Him a while back, "Do you not understand that I wanted this to be a good year".
I haven't blogged. I didn't want to share my inner most thoughts or feelings because I was ashamed at the trials I was facing. I was also ashamed to be facing such hardships at the same time that I had the most precious gift I could ever receive in my life. I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me. Why else would God allow me to go through this trial?
Today. This day, I wanted to give up. I wanted to run. I was on Facebook, and I saw that someone posted a message entitled "The Power is in the Pressing". As soon as I read it, the Lord spoke to me and told me to listen to it. So I did. The speaker is Amie Dockery and she speaks of the process of the olive oil pressing and the grape pressing. She explained that the olive is pressed with a stone because the pressure of the stone on the olive brings forth a sweet taste. However, a grape is not pressed with a stone because the pressure of the stone on the seed inside the grape brings forth a bitter taste. Instead, a grape is pressed with the pressure of a skin. A foot in fact. When the foot steps on the grapes and feels the seed, the person knows that they are pressing "hard enough" meaning that they do not want to step harder because they only want to bring forth the sweetness of the grape.
She explains that the olives in the Bible represents our dreams, visions, our marriage, our children, etc. Yet, we are the grapes. She is quoted saying that "All I've ever wanted in my life really is to be at the feet of Jesus, and if that means that He pushes on me to express something precious, I can trust that pressure, I can trust that pain. It's not for my destruction, but for my gain".
Her message helped me understand the passage in the Word that says, "We are pressed but not crushed". I admit I sat in the floor of my bathroom and I cried and cried and cried while I listened to her message. I felt the Holy Spirit's presence fill the bathroom where I sat and I welcomed His kind and warm reassurance that I was only being pressed but not crushed.
I only wanted to share this because I want others to know that I am pressed but not crushed. For a minute there, Satan had me believing that God wanted to crush me. God really encouraged me today. I wanted to share the message here on my blog just so you could catch this concept as well AND for those who are close to me to remind me when I get discouraged that I am not crushed, but rather pressed because God wants to bring something sweet out of my life.
I didn't understand why God was allowing these circumstances to happen especially when I made the decision to give this year to God. Now I understand that I'm going through a pressing and that God has a purpose. So, from now on, I'm blogging again. I have so much good in my life to share. Aiden is 8 months old and growing like a weed. He's the most precious gift I could have ever received. I've started my Master's degree. I'm able to stay at home with my son. God is so good. And He is expressing things out of my life that are meant to be poured out and shared:)
If you have felt the same, are feeling the same...whatever. This is a good message.
The Power is in the Pressing
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Hebrews 13:5
This morning as I was getting my son dressed for the day, I had to step away to grab a diaper. He couldn't see me, which started tears to form in his eyes. Before I knew it, he was in a full blown fit. He wouldn't calm down until I picked him up and cradled him close to my chest. I silently whispered to his ear, "Mommy's here, baby. I'm not going anywhere".
As I spoke these words, I knew God was speaking the same thing over me. I love when His word is brought to life in little routines throughout my day. I am comforted that He promises to never leave or forsake me. I needed to hear Him tell me this today.
As I spoke these words, I knew God was speaking the same thing over me. I love when His word is brought to life in little routines throughout my day. I am comforted that He promises to never leave or forsake me. I needed to hear Him tell me this today.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Questions Marks
If there is a punctuation symbol that I could show some sort of dislike towards it would be the question mark. I do not like them. I am an exclamation mark of excitement or thrill, or a period of finality kind of gal. But the question mark is not my friend. I like answers not questions. Which is why I find it ironic (please cue Alanis Morrisette's song in the background) that the word faith has somewhat been a theme in my life for the past few months. I wake up with the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" playing ever so sweetly in my head on countless occasions. Over Christmas break, my wonderful and insightful mother presented me with a book entitled "Faith Dare". Not to mention that every aspect of my life is demanding some practice of faith from me. That's the funny thing about question marks. They require some degree of faith from a person due to the lack of the unknown. I do not like the unknown. I am a planner. I am one of those nerds who carries around a calendar at all times and my life is laid out between the two pages of plans and dates that make up the month ahead. I specifically buy the calendar that has the month displayed instead of the weeks because I want to see my plans in its entirety. That's the kind of nerd that I am but I love it. So as you can imagine, when a question mark is stamped before me I tend to panic. Last week, God led me to a verse that I memorized back in my teenage years. This time, however, I read it in the Message version and the raw truth of its translation hit me like a blow to the stomach. "The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see". (Hebrews 11:1 MSG). The last portion of this verse is what gets me. "It's our handle on what we can't see". So that's it. That's why I do not like question marks. I can't see what plans are behind it and my faith is not being practiced enough to find peace in that uncertainty. This lack of faith brings in a great deal of fear instead of peace. In my heart I can hear God speak to me "Faint-heart, what got into you?" (Matthew 14:2, 31 MSG) just as he did to Peter as he doubted his faith when attempting to walk on water.
Whenever I see a question mark in my future or my present situation, I panic. Much like Peter. I get that tight gripping feeling in my chest and my mind races with more questions. But I hear God speaking to me to have faith. It is oh so stinkin hard but I want faith more than fear. Have you ever seen a child who was sick yet still held a sense of innocence in their eyes as if no one had clued them in on their ailment? They have an innocent like peace. That's what faith brings. Peace in the uncertainty. And if there is anyway I can veto the question marks in my life-the haunting punctuation mark-and choose peace instead, then that is exactly what I want to do. Maybe you handle question marks differently. Some like the unknown. They see it as an adventure. Maybe someday I will feel the spontaneity in the questions marks of my life. But today, my baby step is to choose peace instead of fear so that my heart can truly proclaim "Great is Thy Faithfulndss"!!!! <-notice my fun exclamation marks;)
Whenever I see a question mark in my future or my present situation, I panic. Much like Peter. I get that tight gripping feeling in my chest and my mind races with more questions. But I hear God speaking to me to have faith. It is oh so stinkin hard but I want faith more than fear. Have you ever seen a child who was sick yet still held a sense of innocence in their eyes as if no one had clued them in on their ailment? They have an innocent like peace. That's what faith brings. Peace in the uncertainty. And if there is anyway I can veto the question marks in my life-the haunting punctuation mark-and choose peace instead, then that is exactly what I want to do. Maybe you handle question marks differently. Some like the unknown. They see it as an adventure. Maybe someday I will feel the spontaneity in the questions marks of my life. But today, my baby step is to choose peace instead of fear so that my heart can truly proclaim "Great is Thy Faithfulndss"!!!! <-notice my fun exclamation marks;)
Monday, December 12, 2011
God Knows
Tonight as I was sitting in my rocking chair with my newborn baby son I began to rub the tiny hairs on his head ever so softly. Back and forth as I rocked and rubbed my sons head, I realized he had more hair than I had thought. His hair is so blonde it is hard to notice how much hair he actually has. With this realization I thought, "my God knows the exact number of hairs on his head". The knowledge and comfort of this truth was so overwhelming I began to cry. **Cry: verb, something that occurs constantly after birthing a child**. Being a new mom is so scary and exciting and overwhelming all at once. I am pretty sure I will be blogging more because of motherhood. Each moment spent is suddenly important. I don't want to miss out on anything. I want to capture it all. Aiden will be a week old tomorrow and he already lifts his head and today I caught him trying to roll over. He's already growing way to fast. Each experience is new and no matter how much I don't know, my God knows. And well...that makes me happy:)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Joys of Pregnancy
Last weekend, my mother slyly mentioned to my best friend that I don't blog enough. Since then, I have tried to think of interesting details of my life that I could write down and others would want to read. At the moment, I am 30 weeks pregnant!!! Yes!! I am a walking baby whale. Thanks to my mother and the thousands of maternity items she purchased for me this past weekend, I can now attempt to decorate this large, round, body of mine and be comfortable at the same time. At thirty weeks pregnant, I can pretty much write a book on all the things that people DO NOT tell you about pregnancy. I wear heels now just because I am convinced that if I am taller, I won't be compared to an "Oompa Loompa" from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. However, there is a price that comes with wearing heels. When a pregnant person is on their feet all day like I am, they are already causing their legs to swell and their muscles to tighten. When you add heels to the equation, the muscles are now angled and tightened even more. This causes me to wake up at strange hours of the night screaming because my calf muscle has just tightened into a "Charlie Horse". My poor husband. He has literally jumped straight out of bed thinking that I was dying. Just the other night, I stayed with a friend, and the same thing happened. I woke up out of a dead sleep in the worst kind of pain coming from my leg. This poor girl thought I was having contractions and was about to give birth!!! Oh the joys of pregnancy.
Now that I am round, sleeping is a problem as well. You see...I have this active little man inside of me, and it does not matter what side I lay on, he is going to kick that side until I move to a different position. He must get this stubbornness from his father, because I would never ;) It is because of this that I now wake up to find the horrendous dark objects underneath my eyelids. No sleep equals dark circles underneath the eye. It's not a pretty sight when I am not wearing make-up.
There are many other non-beautiful things that are happening right now due to being pregnant, but I will choose not to share them on a public website. Instead, I will tell you the beautiful side to having swollen feet and hands, a large belly comparable to Santa, and eyes that look like you lost a fight with Rocky Balboa. I will be having me an active man. He literally moves non-stop. And he is SO big. He doesn't have much room to move around, but he could care less. This baby swims all around my belly. If you want free entertainment, you can take a seat and literally watch my belly move from the top to the bottom and over to the sides. I have heard that not all babies are like this when they are in the womb. I could not imagine Aiden not being so active. It makes me happy to feel him kicking and moving (well...except when I'm trying to sleep). The other night, my husband came home from work and we were both getting ready for bed. I crawled into bed and he had a lamp on so he could read his book. As he laid there, I just sat in the bed staring at this man that I married. All I could think was "How did I get so lucky". My husband is not a man of emotions, so I will ask him on occasion why he chose me, or why does he love me. This was exactly what I did at that moment. While staring at Brett, he looked up and gave me the sweetest smile that melted my heart. I then asked him, "Why do you love me". His answer is one that I will never forget. He replied, "Today, I was praying for Aiden, and I asked that God would give him your heart and your personality and your love for people". Brett could have just said, "You have a great heart, and I like your personality and admire your love for people", but instead, he prayed that God would give those traits to our son. This is the sweetest part about having a baby. Sharing a love with someone that will soon be in a human form. I can't wait to meet our baby son. I can't wait to see how he reminds me of the man I married. I can't wait to hold him and know that he is a product of such sweet love. *sigh* I'm getting carried away. That's all I will share for now. I can't have people thinking I am that crazy over my husband ;) In conclusion to this random blog...I am not the biggest fan of the whole 9 month pregnancy thing. I miss my body, and I miss being able to pick things up or move a chair without people freaking out. I miss wearing heels and not having to worry about if I'm going to get a visit from Mr. Charlie Horse. BUT...I do love that this being inside of me is a little piece of my husband. I love to feel him move. I like being able to sit and talk to him while alone on the couch. I like that when I play classical music (or any kind of music), he turns and turns as if he were dancing. I like that already, there are so many people praying for this little man. And finally, I am comforted in the fact that in Jeremiah 1:5, God's promise to Aiden is this, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart".
Now that I am round, sleeping is a problem as well. You see...I have this active little man inside of me, and it does not matter what side I lay on, he is going to kick that side until I move to a different position. He must get this stubbornness from his father, because I would never ;) It is because of this that I now wake up to find the horrendous dark objects underneath my eyelids. No sleep equals dark circles underneath the eye. It's not a pretty sight when I am not wearing make-up.
There are many other non-beautiful things that are happening right now due to being pregnant, but I will choose not to share them on a public website. Instead, I will tell you the beautiful side to having swollen feet and hands, a large belly comparable to Santa, and eyes that look like you lost a fight with Rocky Balboa. I will be having me an active man. He literally moves non-stop. And he is SO big. He doesn't have much room to move around, but he could care less. This baby swims all around my belly. If you want free entertainment, you can take a seat and literally watch my belly move from the top to the bottom and over to the sides. I have heard that not all babies are like this when they are in the womb. I could not imagine Aiden not being so active. It makes me happy to feel him kicking and moving (well...except when I'm trying to sleep). The other night, my husband came home from work and we were both getting ready for bed. I crawled into bed and he had a lamp on so he could read his book. As he laid there, I just sat in the bed staring at this man that I married. All I could think was "How did I get so lucky". My husband is not a man of emotions, so I will ask him on occasion why he chose me, or why does he love me. This was exactly what I did at that moment. While staring at Brett, he looked up and gave me the sweetest smile that melted my heart. I then asked him, "Why do you love me". His answer is one that I will never forget. He replied, "Today, I was praying for Aiden, and I asked that God would give him your heart and your personality and your love for people". Brett could have just said, "You have a great heart, and I like your personality and admire your love for people", but instead, he prayed that God would give those traits to our son. This is the sweetest part about having a baby. Sharing a love with someone that will soon be in a human form. I can't wait to meet our baby son. I can't wait to see how he reminds me of the man I married. I can't wait to hold him and know that he is a product of such sweet love. *sigh* I'm getting carried away. That's all I will share for now. I can't have people thinking I am that crazy over my husband ;) In conclusion to this random blog...I am not the biggest fan of the whole 9 month pregnancy thing. I miss my body, and I miss being able to pick things up or move a chair without people freaking out. I miss wearing heels and not having to worry about if I'm going to get a visit from Mr. Charlie Horse. BUT...I do love that this being inside of me is a little piece of my husband. I love to feel him move. I like being able to sit and talk to him while alone on the couch. I like that when I play classical music (or any kind of music), he turns and turns as if he were dancing. I like that already, there are so many people praying for this little man. And finally, I am comforted in the fact that in Jeremiah 1:5, God's promise to Aiden is this, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart".
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Once in a while...
I have found a new obsession with a website called Pinterest. It's a website where you can pin pictures of things that you are interested in (hence the name "pin-terest"). I was looking at pictures for home decor when I ran across a picture of an old window that had been redecorated and hung. Inside the glass portion of the window read this quote "Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale". Coincidentally, one of the last blogs I wrote was on the topic of fairytales. I could not have found this quote to be more appropriate for my life at the moment.
While typing this blog, I am currently six months pregnant and beginning a transition in my life that was not planned or expected. In the past year or so, my life has been full of transitions, whether it was physically, spiritually, or emotionally. When I found out that I was pregnant, I was completely shocked. Brett and I had not been planning, and if I were to plan a pregnancy, it would not have been at this time. When I first learned I was pregnant, I did a lot of soul searching and praying. This led me to a thought. I'm about to give life to another. Even though I did not plan to do this, a baby in my womb is a result of the love between my husband and I. I then began to think of God and how Jesus was a result of His love for us. Of course, I have always known that God gave His only son so that we may have life. John 3:16 was one of the first verses I had ever memorized. However, the depth of this truth took on a whole new meaning when relating it to myself. What can be more powerful than a love that creates life? This thought was the turning point of my mindset in this pregnancy. I was no longer upset that my plans were now out of place. I suddenly adored the tiny life that was being molded inside of me because it was a result of a love that I possess.
Brett and I just celebrated our four year wedding anniversary. In my prayers the morning of our anniversary, I was reflecting on all the things we have been through together. I reached an epiphany. Four years ago, I started marriage
While typing this blog, I am currently six months pregnant and beginning a transition in my life that was not planned or expected. In the past year or so, my life has been full of transitions, whether it was physically, spiritually, or emotionally. When I found out that I was pregnant, I was completely shocked. Brett and I had not been planning, and if I were to plan a pregnancy, it would not have been at this time. When I first learned I was pregnant, I did a lot of soul searching and praying. This led me to a thought. I'm about to give life to another. Even though I did not plan to do this, a baby in my womb is a result of the love between my husband and I. I then began to think of God and how Jesus was a result of His love for us. Of course, I have always known that God gave His only son so that we may have life. John 3:16 was one of the first verses I had ever memorized. However, the depth of this truth took on a whole new meaning when relating it to myself. What can be more powerful than a love that creates life? This thought was the turning point of my mindset in this pregnancy. I was no longer upset that my plans were now out of place. I suddenly adored the tiny life that was being molded inside of me because it was a result of a love that I possess.
Brett and I just celebrated our four year wedding anniversary. In my prayers the morning of our anniversary, I was reflecting on all the things we have been through together. I reached an epiphany. Four years ago, I started marriage
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